Tunnel Vision

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People don’t understand when I try to be honest and tell them, “Yeah, I was an abuser, but yet I was abused.” They don’t understand that. —Tessa

  at what time in the tunnel
did the gentle inhabitants of her body pack up and leave
at what time
did her father’s beer take the house hostage
and she learn to live with too much sadness
he said I had to and I better not tell
at what time did steel plank itself beneath her skin
and ropes begin to bind her blood

what are these ropes, and how long the tunnel